At times, I can be random. I can be misunderstood. I can be in pain . But overall, i think i'm quite understanding through these Writings.I Like to speak my mind.
There Is a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up.
To every thing there is a Reason..So Hope You will Know The Reason Of My Writings Also !!!
You Can't Control Your Life...Your Time..or
Your Destiny... But One Thing You Can Control,Which Will Give a Positive
& Happy Effect To All This... Is Your WORDS... Mind what you are Telling & How You are Presenting... May Be You are Hurting Somebody Knowingly or Unknowingly... So Just Take Hold On your Words & You Can Change Everything Positively!!! :)
"Smile" is a gift of God... Some utilize it fully, Some don't..
One thing We all Should understand... What is happening in our Life,we
can't stop... We can't aspire for more beyond capability... We can't
change our fate... We can't force anybody beyond their Interest.. But
Whatever We have, or We are Getting or Any good-things are happening
...can't be taken by anybody!!
There are people who are not even
getting 10% of what we are getting !! So think ... "We should be happy What
we have & expect good things further Being Positive??" OR "We should be Always
be Sad & Unhappy For,what we are not having now??"
**I always think We should utilize fully,God's incredible & Most Beautiful Gift "SMILE" Because " It's Cost Nothing...But Worth Everything" :)
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Leaving a person for his mistake, is never giving a chance for improvement.
But the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.”
“Forgiveness is not about forgetting.It is about letting go of another person's throat....Forgiveness is about setting yourself free and you can do that by releasing the past so it no longer has control over your thoughts or the way you feel. The importance of forgiveness has everything to do with your own well being.
How? When forgiveness takes place, we naturally release the
disturbing thoughts and emotions that drain our physical, mental,
emotional and spiritual well being.
The result is a greater level of health and happiness in addition to the endless benefits that forgiveness brings.Learning how to forgive and forget doesn't always seem like an easy task. Keep in mind that doing forgiveness work will set you free from past or current upsets , it is always worth it.
Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the
truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a
relationship of trust is not possible.
When you forgive someone you
certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real
relationship can be established....Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent.
When learning how to forgive and forget, the important thing to keep in
mind is that total forgiveness is possible and when we set out to
consciously forgive someone or a situation, progress is always made. You will know that you have been set free thru forgiveness when
the memory of a person or of a situation no longer triggers thoughts or
emotions that don’t feel good. Instead, you will have a
greater sense of peace and perhaps even gratitude for the opportunity to
heal thru a difficult situation.
Children need their parents
to be role models.When Everything is said & done and your children
are independent adults, your parental role metamorphoses into becoming
your children’s friend.Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but
the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. Perhaps not today, but one day, your children will be grateful for the guidance they received from their parents, As today I am feeling....My Grandparents & My Parents are always My Role Model..& I'm Really Missing Them a Lot....So My heroes are and were my Parents. I can't see having anyone else as
my heroes.So I always want to follow them. They are always the best!!!
Being Proud of My Parent's & Grandparents Positive Life Teachings,I often refer to the following quotation..
The Golden Keys to Successful Parenting............
It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.
The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.
1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)
Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.
It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, "Mommy, you never spend time with me" (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, "Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together."
2 - Use Action, Not Words
Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.
3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
4 - Use Natural Consequences
Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.
5 - Use Logical Consequences
Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.
6 - Withdraw from Conflict
If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.
7 - Seperate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?
8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time
Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?
9 - Parent with the End in Mind
Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.
10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.
This document is produced by the International Network for Children and Families and the 350 instructors of the "Redirecting Children's Behavior" course.